The first time I met this little man was February 12, 2007. The day he was born. Five days after my little brother left my life. It was a meeting full of emotion.
(There will be times when I go to a place I can feel myself leaving. For more years than I can really remember I've not been myself. Sadness fills all the nooks and crannies. But for the last month things are beginning to feel different. For example...Trev and I were going to the dump, first time in six months due to wrists (eeeww!!) and Trevor stopped what he was doing, stood staring at me and then said, "Are you singing?" I stopped, I thought about it, and yes, I was singing. And it felt okay and good and so I continued to sing as I loaded the back of Flossie & Georgia's truck. Before this time I would have felt bad for feeling so good and would have made myself stop singing. I want those days to be gone but I've also lived long enough to know that they will be around. And I know I will get past them. And all you all should know that too!!! I'm coming back so watch out!)
I was able to stay in the room long enough to get a couple pictures and I had to leave. It would be months before the bond I have with this little man is formed. And formed it did. Formed and cemented. In place for life! There is nothing like one-on-one time with a baby. I had it for two years with Shelby. For two solid years never once leaving me. Shelby was there for me and I was for her. I could tell her anything and she would usually respond with the most heart melting smile mixed with adorable gurgled baby noises. She was the best friend! Well, I got that same kind of one-on-one time with Oliver. Every Friday it was just the two of us. All day. I loved Fridays. There is a completely different energy in Babyland when I only have one child (WOW I just read what I wrote...I have a lot to do with that energy! Maybe I need to pay more attention to my behavior!). The competition is removed from everything when there is only one kid in Babyland and things are much more relaxed. Although, one of my absolute fondest Mama Sherry memories of Oliver is the first time I kissed him to sleep and Anna was laying on the futon with him. Yes! You read right. I could kiss this little boy to sleep. I can still close my eyes and see his tiny, sleepy, adorable self slipping so peacefully into sleep. Trying to fight off the power of my barely kisses. He never won. And I will never, ever forget the morning Matt came in all excited because he'd kissed Oliver to sleep! Matthew Trent, you are the daddy I wanted for my kids!
So, every so often I stop and read what the heck I'm writing and this kind of writing used to drive Bill crazy. Bill is the best writing instructor ever! And I do promise to get better at the organization of thought but I also know that what you're reading is actually the way my brain works or thinks. So maybe you all can better appreciate the fact that I've made it this far in life and are you sure I'm the one you want to watch your children? Just kidding.
Oliver has a very hard time with the pain of teething. And if he's hurting, keep the other children away. He has no patience when he's in pain. On my second day back at work, in the later afternoon after everyone was up from nap, Oliver was hurting. It was clear. So I was doing my best to keep Moses away from him (all Momo wanted to do was stand next to Oliver and pound him with both hands. Mo has big hands). Anna had to pee so we got to the toilet and I set her on it. I turn to see Oliver driving the little Radio Flyer into Mo. Three steps and I've whisked Oliver up and onto the futon. Momo's fine, Anna's done peeing and Oliver is in tears. So I go to wipe Anna, put the Radio Flyer outside and then go talk to Oliver. I sit beside him on the futon and start to explain about how badly he could have hurt Moses, the tears were streaming down his cheeks, I felt bad because I thought I'd startled him too badly. He reached up and with a hand on each of my cheeks said "Sherry come, no Emily, Sherry come." What could I do but scoop him into my arms and tell him just how much I love him and that I would be at Babyland every day. And some days I would bring Opaline.
The picture with this post was taken shortly after I told Oliver just how much I loved him. You can still see his tears :(
Oh Sherry, your post made me teary! I was going to wait to read it until after Momo's party but it drew me in. I loved your description of the kids. It seems one is always going to the bathroom, another is holding a sharp object and teetering on a table (or windowsill), and a third is chewing something like chalk. Good thing they have someone who can handle it! Oliver melts me as well...I've definitely been a little emotional, especially if he is sweetly sleeping on my chest. Keep up the good writing!
ReplyDeleteIf you took a picture of me or Nancy through a cow hole right now, you'd probably see the tears. I cannot explain how lucky we are to have Oliver so loved when we can't be with him. No offense to anyone else, but organization, lesson plans, or structure are not a substitute for love. With love and no teaching a child can still be smart, but teaching without love can make a child insecure and distant.
ReplyDeleteI didn't go to school with any structure at all until I was 4. I graduated cum laude from the business school at the U of O, and more importantly, I LOVE my family. Thank you Mom, and thank YOU Sherry.